I think we/I make setting boundaries harder than it has to be. Ron always says "no is a complete
sentence." Come on - do you ever find yourself just saying "no" without an explanation or justification?
I can find myself coming up with zillions of excuses (justifications) for not saying no. Here are a few of my personal
favorites:
I need to the be bigger person...
I really don't have it so bad - they need (fill in the
blank) more than me...
I can always do (fill in the blank) later...
I can make the time...
There is no one
else to do...
It's the right thing to do...
I also wonder how often we actually use the word
"no". I think it gets avoided a lot. Here are some of the words/phrases I use instead:
Let
me think about it...
I'll get back to you...
Maybe...
I'll try...
Just remind me...
If I
have time I'll do it....
Recently, a dear friend of mine told me she made only one new year's resolution
this year. It was to "tell the truth." I admire her courage. It's pretty honest to admit
you are liar (isn't that an oxymoron?) I could use a taste her truthfulness. Could you?
I submit
to you that all of the junk we say instead of using the word "no" is lying to others - and - all
the junk we tell ourselves about why it is okay to violate our own boundaries (saying yes when we really need to
say no) is lying to ourselves.
Today I ask will
I have enough respect for myself and others tell the truth and set my limits out-loud and without a bunch of
justification?
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